Boutique-y Whisky: Glen Moray (12 year)

I’m in a weird mood about this blog lately, between hecklers in the comments and real life responsibilities getting in the way, so I thought I’d take this week’s blog post and have a little fun with it. Everyone online right now is talking about ChatGPT, an AI LLM (large language model) with a user-friendly chat interface. So, I thought, why not ask it to write my blog post for me?

We’ll take a whisky that nobody really cares about – a 12 year-old Glen Moray from independent bottler That Boutique-y Whisky Company which is almost certainly sold out everywhere and was breathtakingly overpriced to begin with. ChatGPT output will be in italics. After I gave it some details to use:

Glen Moray is a 12 year old single malt scotch whisky that was bottled by That Boutique-y Whisky Company as part of batch 4. It has an alcohol content of 48.5% and was released in November 2018. The recommended retail price for a 500ml bottle of this whisky is £54.95.

A little dry. Write me an introduction, please.

A 12 year-old single malt scotch whisky from Glen Moray is a fine example of the distillery’s craftsmanship. This whisky was aged for 12 years in oak barrels, allowing it to develop a rich and complex flavor profile. It was bottled by That Boutique-y Whisky Company, a renowned independent bottler known for their unique and high-quality whiskies. The Glen Moray 12 year-old is a single malt whisky, meaning it is made from 100% malted barley and is distilled at a single distillery. It has a deep amber color and a distinctively smooth and mellow flavor, with hints of vanilla, honey, and a subtle peaty smokiness. Overall, this is a delicious and well-balanced whisky that is perfect for sipping on its own or enjoying in a classic cocktail.

Oh my God it said ‘smooth’. Nope, that’s not right. Let’s try it again, but with a little less… enthusiasm.

A 12 year-old Glen Moray single malt scotch whisky was bottled by That Boutique-y Whisky Company. It is made from 100% malted barley and aged in oak barrels for 12 years. It has a deep amber color and a flavor profile that includes hints of vanilla, honey, and a subtle peaty smokiness. This whisky is okay, but not particularly noteworthy.

Wow. Harsh. Ok, maybe we can get it to use some of my tasting notes to write something more… useful.

A 12 year-old single malt scotch whisky from Glen Moray, bottled by That Boutique-y Whisky Company, has a nose that is fruit-forward and bursting with tropical flavors. The palate is syrupy and sweet, with flavors of banana cream pie, vanilla bean custard, and fruit punch. The finish is medium-length, with a little barrel char and toasted oak. Overall, this whisky is reminiscent of a Mai Tai cocktail with its fruity and sweet flavors. My tasting notes also mention a sour tang like Champagne vinegar and hints of hazelnut butter.

Better. How about a recommendation?

It is ultimately up to you to decide whether or not to purchase a bottle of this whisky. Based on the information provided, it sounds like a well-crafted and flavorful whisky that has a complex and interesting flavor profile. However, the decision to purchase a bottle should ultimately be based on your personal preferences and budget. It may be helpful to try a sample of the whisky before making a decision, or to seek out additional reviews and opinions to help inform your decision.

Well there you go. ChatGPT says this is a “Try Before Buy”. I don’t think I’m quite out of a job, yet, but… pretty impressive.

As a little last bit of fun, I asked it to describe this whisky in a Scottish brogue:

Och, this Glen Moray 12 year-old single malt scotch whisky is the purest nectar o’ the gods. It’s been aged in oak barrels for a full 12 years, givin’ it a rich and complex flavor that’ll make yer tongue do the Highland fling. Slàinte mhath!

Close enough.

Nose: Fruit-forward, with heaps of tropical fruits, peaches, kiwi, lime peel, and a sour tang like Champagne vinegar. A rest in the glass reveals a little ripe (really ripe) banana that reminds me somewhat of funky rums.

Palate: Syrupy body. Sweet, with banana cream pie up front, followed by a hefty tongue burn. This fades quickly, leaving vanilla bean custard, kiwi fruit (again), fruit punch, and hazelnut butter. Kinda like a Mai Tai.

Finish: Medium length. A little barrel char and toasted oak appear, while the leftover fruit notes fade slowly. There is no bitterness. Surprisingly, there is also no further evolution.

With Water: Several drops of water amp up the nose tickle, so I let it sit for a minute. There’s a new coconut aroma, but the water seems to have muted the other notes and there’s still too much nose tickle. The palate is softer, with an additional honey note and less tongue burn. The finish acquires that sour tang and is altogether more interesting. I’d suggest spending awhile smelling this neat before adding any water, and see how it evolves for you.

Overall: I’m a big fan of those tropical fruit notes on the aroma, but they are replaced by banana-heavy notes a little too quickly. The palate is sweet and strong and straightforward, and the finish is unflawed but uninteresting. I noticed that this dram actually provides a better finish and mouthfeel if you drink it quickly rather than letting it sit on your tongue for awhile. Weird. And tasty.

At uhh, £54.95 per 500ml, that’s $70.51 multiplied by (700 / 500) or 1.4 which equals… Holy Hell, it’d be $98.71 if it were a full-sized 750ml bottle. It’s decent, but it’s not that good. ChatGPT is right – this is a Try Before Buy… if it’s even still available anywhere. For what it’s worth, ChatGPT refused to give me a numeric rating. Something about large language models not being able to taste whisky…

Boutique-y Whisky: Glen Moray (12 year)
48.5% ABV
ScotchNoob™ Mark:
Price Range: $98 (estimated)
Acquired: (30ml review sample) That Boutique-y Whisky Company

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